Let God write Your Story

At some point, it felt like I was swimming against the tide.

Why did everybody else seem to be doing well while I was stuck in a rut? Had my luck run out? Was I trying too hard? Trying too little? Trying the wrong things?

I have the qualifications and experience for my ‘dream job’. Why do these rejection emails keep filling my inbox?

They said,’The biggest risk in life is taking none.’ I have taken several risks, and they have all cost me so dearly – why isn’t it working for me?

They said,’Good things come to those who wait.’ Why does it feel like my good things have gotten missing along their way to me?

I remember praying one prayer – ‘God, organise my life. Please organise my life. I give you free reign – do as you wish, when you wish and how you wish. Wherever you lead, I will follow.’

I stayed on that prayer for some time. I stayed until I felt a release in my spirit. In that time, God reminded me of an instruction He gave me a long time ago that I needed to go back to.

I will tell you that the first thing I felt was peace. This peace didn’t come because my situation changed, because it actually hadn’t. It came because I changed. It felt like the gloom just lifted. I began to see possibilities where I formerly saw difficulty. I no longer felt ‘stuck’, I knew that I was in a season. I started believing that a greater power was constantly looking after me and taking care of me. I stopped leaning on my own strength, and I started committing more things to God, much quicker than I used to. This way, I didn’t tire myself out. I began to notice small acts of God’s providence, several times, every day.

I started narrowing my gaze and adjusted it till it focused solely on God. I gave God my full attention. I gave him first place. I put Him before my comfort, before my pride, and before the acceptance of others. I blocked out all the noise and truly lived for an audience of one. I still do this now and will do so all the days of my life.

Suddenly, the rejection emails didn’t hit so hard anymore. I just knew that the job God had for me, which would glorify Him, would come, and nothing could stop it. I started to use my imagination for good – I imagined good things happening to me! I entered what Yonggi cho called ‘REST’.

I didn’t have to be or do anything that wasn’t true to my personality or my calling (both of which were given to me by God) to nurture or preserve associations. Why would I, when a greater force is navigating my life and organising it for me.

You know, God desires to give us the BEST.
God once told me, “Let me do nice things for you.”

Your father owns the cattle on a thousand hills. The Bible says the silver and gold are His, and He is your father, so they are yours too! He says He will show you HIDDEN treasures stored in SECRET places because they are hidden to you and I, but are in PLAIN sight to Him.

The way it worked for someone else isn’t necessarily the way it has to work out for you. Your friend got a job right after school, and it doesn’t invalidate your experience of job hunting. Your story is different. The same way God is writing your story, He’s writing theirs too. God’s glory isn’t in our stories all being the same. It’s in the fact that despite our different stories, He is able to make our lives living testimonies.

In John 9 : 1-12, Jesus and his disciples encounter a boy born blind. They ask Jesus if the boy or his parents were responsible for his sightlessness. Jesus says it has nothing to do with the boy or his parents. He said there’s no need to point fingers, no need to compare, no need for a pity party. It’s happening so that a healing miracle will occur, which will be recorded, and referred to throughout history. His story will bring glory to God.

You have encompassed this mountain long enough. Allow God to organise your life. Spend time fellowshipping. Exercise your faith. Listen to His promptings because He will respond. He wants to help you. He already has the pen, let Him write your story.

Impostor Syndrome and The Believer

I began feeling it long before I knew what it was.

It was prize giving day in high school, and I’d made it to top 3 in my class. We had Math prodigees on the stag who had won inter-school and state championships. I’d never done anything like that, and in my silently growing panic, I wondered if they’d miscalculated my scores.

It was the feeling of not being sure I belonged. More specifically, the feeling of wondering if I was awarded by mistake.

Over the years, I’ve found this feeling to be quite common with a lot of people. I mean people worry that their school admitted them by mistake, or they won a scholarship by some stroke of luck or their boss overestimated their abilities, or their church thinks they’re a better Christian than they actually are, and sooner or later someone is going to figure it out. In a lot of cases, this feeling moves from worry to fear and then anxiety, timidity, self-sabotage, and outright quitting.

Other times, it creates a deep uncertainty about being loved or accepted by our friends, family, or even God. It births a need to do more, to be more, constantly measuring ourselves against standards that exist only in our heads.

“It was the feeling of not being sure I belonged. More specifically, the feeling of wondering if I was awarded by mistake.”

As you may be able to tell, impostor syndrome is quite powerful. It’s the reason a lot of people self- sabotage, or quit even before they begin. Sometimes, it looks like our insecurities or our limitations. Shaming us with lies of not being good enough and fear that everything could crumble if anyone were to probe deeply.

For believers, it’s one reason many of us don’t step into our calling because we feel like a fraud. An extra layer for the believer is the weight of guilt from sin, mistakes, and choices from our pasts. Some of us have chapters in our life stories that stand in stark contrast to where we now are and what God is calling us to do. Impostor syndrome plays on these experiences and slowly and silently kills the believer’s call.

“An extra layer for the believer is the weight of guilt from sin, mistakes, and choices from our pasts. Some of us have chapters in our life stories that stand in stark contrast to where we now are and what God is calling us to do”.

If this is you, I’d like to let you know that impostor syndrome is built on lies. That’s the key reason we have to resist it. Its aim is to paint a picture of unworthiness and make us believe that we do not deserve what we have because of something we have or don’t have or who we are or are not. The truth is that Jesus has made us joint heirs with Him, entitled to every good and perfect gift. It was never about us – He did it long before we ever came to know Him and become saved. He loved us in advance and with plenty more to spare!

The idea that “I’ve got to prove myself in order to get myself loved” is in total variance with the gospel of redemption. By grace alone, through faith alone, on the basis of the work of Christ alone, we stand on the glorious rock of the forgiveness of our sins, our acceptance with God, the removal of our guilt, the canceling of our debts — all of it rooted in the love of God, who chose us for himself before the foundation of the world.

“The truth is that Jesus has made us joint heirs with Him, entitled to every good and perfect gift. It was never about us – He did it long before we ever came to know Him and become saved”.

In Luke 5, Jesus reveals himself to a fisherman called Peter who had toiled all night but caught nothing. Suddenly, this man makes an appearance, and his nets are overflowing with fish. Peter, realising who Jesus was and what He’d just done for him gave the a classic impostor Syndrome response – ‘Please leave me, I’m a lowly sinner, not worthy to be in your presence’. Peter felt unworthy and inadequate. He wanted to hide.

Jesus’ response is significant. He does not coddle Peter or skirt around his fears, He shifts Peter’s focus to a higher calling – ‘Don’t be afraid, from now on you’ll be fishing for people’.

Jesus ripped at the self-depriciating nature of Peter’s response. He knew that apart from feeling bad about himself, his feelings would distract him from what God had called him to do.

Impostor syndorme disables you through fear and feelings of inadequacy. It’s like having weights shackled to your ankles, keeping you from running full speed. The devil knows that as long as he can do this – keep your eyes on your inability instead of God’s ability. You’ll live a life of fearful restraint and miniscule goals.

But know that you have been engraced for every call of God over your life. Know that when God called you, He qualified you irrespective of your age, gender, experiences, background, mistakes, and any other variable.

As believers, there’s another layer of guilt and shame that comes from sin, but know that there is no pit so deep that His love is not deeper still. He loves you so much that he makes provisions for your shortcomings. Circling back to Peter who Jesus tells ‘I know you are going to deny me, but I have put something in place to help you out of that. And when you are helped, dont forget your call – help others too!

So what do we do when impostor syndrome begins to rear its ugly head? We do what 2 Corinthians 10:5 says.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

We declare that we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, and we are entitled to every good and perfect gift. Guilt and shame have no power over us.

And for the times when it wears the deceptive cloak of ‘luck’, remind yourself that there is no such thing as luck — period. There is no such thing as luck. What the world calls luck is God’s providence. So, what you’re dealing with is not several thousand professional instances of luck, in which you lucked out and proved competent and responsible and helpful by accident. That’s not what’s happening; there’s no such thing as an accident or luck. God, not luck, brought about those thousands of moments of competency and responsibility and helpfulness. This is a pattern of divine sustaining, divine support, divine help, divine guidance, which bears all the marks of a calling, a vocation from God.

“And for the times when it wears the deceptive cloak of ‘luck’, remind yourself that there is no such thing as luck — period. There is no such thing as luck. What the world calls luck is God’s providence. “

Therefore, when you wake up in the morning and you feel anxiety that your luck might run out today, one of the answers is to preach to yourself, “There’s no such thing as luck. Stop thinking that way. It doesn’t exist. God has sustained me in all these thousands of moments of competency that I’ve been calling ‘luck.’ God has sustained me even if I am truly incompetent.”

When impostor syndrome takes hold of you, you take hold of it. Speak God’s word and refuse its lies and deception.

You were made worthy when Christ died and shed His blood for you. You DO belong in that church, that job, that programme, and anywhere else on this planet God has called you. So don’t look at the people around you. Don’t look at your limitations. Don’t even  look at yourself. Just look at Jesus and move.

The Convenience of the Flesh, the Glory of the Spirit

The Holy Spirit taught me a lesson from Genesis 1: 11-12, which tells us that everything produces after its own kind. He showed me that spiritual growth and maturity comes as a result of exercising your spirit to the point where it becomes your default mode of operation.

The human response to pressure and discomfort is usually fleshly. We choose the most convenient / accessible option; we choose the thing that makes us feel good (even when it truly does not resolve the issue).

When we operate out of the flesh, we remain spiritual babies, easily swayed, never truly understanding who we are and what we have been placed on earth to accomplish. The flesh is extremely convenient, but it yields no desirable thing.

It’s easy to respond to malice with malice. To receive insults with a quick clapback, to respond to fear with impulsiveness or even anger, and so on. It is under circumstances like this that you find believers exhibiting what I term as ‘contradictory christianity’, where they are Christians until they come under pressure. Sanctified until stressed! Oh dear.

Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. - (Galatians 6:8 NLT)

When we give into the flesh in this manner, we give no room for the growth Christ desires for us (Galatians 6 : 8). Each time we do this, we refuse the Holy Spirit from working in us and through us.

But we won’t give into carnality because the Holy Spirit has a higher calling for you and I. Paul says since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives- (Galatians 5:25). One reason it’s so important to remain tuned into your spirit at all times is because life’s situations are your spirit’s physical gym; it is where you test ability and grow capacity.

It is where you gain mastery of your flesh. When you continually put your spirit to work, you learn that physical things are fleeting, but things of the spirit are permanent. That anger is a response best suited to the unwise and that a gentle answer turns away wrath. That it is more blessed to give than to receive and that truly, increase comes from God. I could go on and on, but you get my drift.

What Christ desires is for us to be so confidently persuaded of His love, that we only speak and act in a manner that pleases Him because we know it is for our growth, and edification- no matter the situation.

This won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it.

How do you do this? Fellowship. Fellowship. Fellowship.

I find that frequent fellowship with the Holy Spirit is the oil the wheel of life requires to remain switched on and tuned in. Our time with the Holy Spirit shouldn’t be reserved for bedtime and wake time only. Talk to Him during the course of your entire day. Never stay too far from your secret place. For you will hear a voice behind you saying “This is the way, walk ye in it”- Isaiah 30:21. Because “there is a way that seemed right unto a Man but the end thereof is destruction”- Proverbs 14:12

I remember telling the Holy Spirit I didn’t have time to talk with Him as much as I used to because I took on some responsibilities that required more of my physical attention. He told me, ‘my altar is in your heart, we can fellowship anywhere, anytime’.

Friends, you can never go wrong when you choose to stay with The Word and in tune with your spirit. For the Spirit will always bring with it goodness and God’s glory.

He Knows

According to Philippians 2:7, Jesus took “the very nature of a servant.” He became like us so he could serve us. He entered the world not to demand our allegiance but to display his affection.

He knew you’d be sleepy, he knew you’d be grief stricken, and hungry. He knew you’d face pain. If not the pain of the body, the pain of the soul. He knew you’d face thirst. If not a thirst for water, at least a thirst for truth. And the truth we glean from the image of a thirsty Christ on the cross is: Jesus understands.

When we feel lonely, knowing someone understands can make all the difference. You can be surrounded by people but still feel lonely if you don’t feel known. And you can be alone but not feel lonely if you are known. God became flesh, so we would always feel known by him.

His Heart is with Us

“Relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews” (Esther 4:14). Mordecai said those words. Though a holocaust had been declared, Mordecai changed from desperate wailing to issuing this bold statement. What caused this change? Well it dawned on Mordecai that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob was very much alive and well and undefeated in battle. God had not forgotten his role as a covenant keeper. God’s heart was still attached to his people—a remnant living in exile in Persia.

To some, the situation was hopeless. The Jews had no king, no temple, no priesthood, no sacrifices. But to God, it was no matter. God is to problems what a hurricane is to a mosquito – no match. Mordecai got this. Do you?

Yes, the journey ahead includes deep waters. But the scripture promises, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you…” (Isaiah 43:2).

Made for More

The world define us by our degrees, our professions and our possessions, but no matter how much we accomplish we always, somehow, still come up short. We strive for excellence and just when we think we’ve attained it, the goal post shifts and we continue the chase to ‘being enough’. 

No wonder Jesus earnestly calls out to all who labour and are heavy laden, He knows there’s a whole bunch of us seeking rest. 

He says if you come to me, I’ll give you an identity that stays the same, no matter what happens. 
When Jesus sent the 70 out in Luke 10, he asked them to leave their belongings behind. He wanted to show them the sufficiency and validation embedded in total dependence on God. 
In John 3: 8. He likens us to the wind; free, powerful, irresistible, imperceptible, indiscernible, and unaccountable to the natural mind. Just like the wind, we are not subject to the dictates of this world and cannot be defined by it. 

Don’t define yourself by worldly standards, you were made for more.
#madeformore

The Heart of The Father

Call out to me and I will answer you and I will reveal deep secrets to you.

I will give you wisdom and understanding;  they’ll be a lamp as you walk and an illuminator on your journey.

I’ll show you how to defend yourself, and prepare you ahead of tough times.

I won’t let your foot slip. You can trust me, I don’t sleep on the job. No, I don’t sleep or rest! I am your shade, right beside you.

When you call me, I will answer you in a remarkable way, with my mighty hand.

I will create a path for you where no foot has gone. So, when the sea threatens to drown you, it will be a highway for your escape.

The firmament- I created it. I’ll make sure it always aligns in your favour. I’ll even make the stones on the ground your allies.

Your mockers will turn around and do things for you. They won’t have any control over their actions. I’ll make people who don’t know you to like you.

The high and mighty will care for you and all your needs. I’ll make them your guardians just to show you that I am a dependable God.

I’ll make your mistakes a thing of the past… as if they never happened.
Then I’ll give you double for your sorrows.

With no way back and no way forward, I will do what I do best – The impossible. I make a way where, naturally speaking, there is no way.

I created you. You are mine. Do you really think that I am going to forget you or let you go?’

Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me – (Isaiah 49:16)

Yes You Can

You have all you need to go into your next level.You have all you need to effect a positive change in your life. There’s a lot more in you than you know. You are capable of a lot more than you think. Everything God created is PERFECT (1 Tim 4:4; Gen 1:31), and fortunately this includes you and me. No need to dwell on the long list of things you wish you had. What you have, who you know, where you are, are enough for you to move forward. When you get to the point where you need more, God will be right there, waiting to endow you with those needs. Trust your Maker

Whatever you have is enough. Whatever you do not have at the moment, you do not need. Inadequacy is not a word associated with God, for He has given us grace sufficient unto all things (2 Cor 12:9). At the limit of our human effort, is the apex of His supernatural power and grace to see us through till the very end. Don’t mind your inadequacies, they’re an avenue for God to be glorified. Where you are weak, He is strong.

So whether it is being a parent, starting a new job, starting a business or going to school, approach it with confidence; knowing that you and God are the most formidable team.

With Love ❤

Your Sis

… And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say” (Exodus 4: 11-12 KJV).

Love The Cracks On Your Plate

By virtue of God’s omnipotence -nothing you go through has the right to ‘take’ from you. Instead it ‘adds’ to you. If one friendship or relationship didn’t show you what you wanted, it showed you what you didn’t. My ‘Mordecai’ (Re: my previous post) told me about Isaac’s wells in Gen 26. Every time Isaac dug a well, it got taken from him -but he kept digging. He finally found one no one could take away.

Beloved, you are defined by God’s Word, not by disappointments and mistakes -what God can do for you can override anything else anyone has done to you. Let nothing you’ve been through take from you, let it add to you. You are the answer to so many people’s prayers.

So keep on investing in yourself, do things you’re passionate about (take that professional qualification, learn a new skill, take dance lessons, go on holiday, learn about a different culture, learn a different language!).
Don’t give into self-pity and despair. The world is too big and beautiful, there is so much more to see.

Sis, Bro, your value does not decrease over time -you’re not a perishable item. The world may say so, but God says otherwise. Whose report will you believe?

 The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the Lord of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the Lord of hosts- Haggai 2:9 (KJV)

What’s Next?

Periods of transition can be unsettling. It’s especially worrisome when you can’t see what’s going to happen next. Sometimes it’s planned (a career change, going to college, a move), sometimes it isn’t (the loss of a loved one, experiencing a divorce). It is simply terrifying not knowing what to do next.

But it is in times of transition that God does His greatest work in us. It is worry that makes us seek God a little more. The obscurity which transition brings creates a hunger in us for God’s plan and purpose for us.

Worry will make you know there is a Comforter.

Confusion will make you know there is a Great Counselor

Sickness will make you know there is a Great Physician.

Pain will make you know there is a Healer!

Transition will keep you up at night, and wake you early in the morning. You’ll spend hours, looking for answers studying the Word, looking for clues.

Jonah in the deep

After being thrown overboard to die, Jonah was tired. He was at his very lowest. He sat in the belly of the fish God had prepared to swallow him, and said a heartfelt prayer to God (Jonah 1-2). How can we know the greatness of God, until we have been through fire and brimstone? God patiently pursues and protects us until we have a change of heart.

Your period of transition might not be comfortable, but know that you’re right where God wants you to be!

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”- Philippians 4: 6-7