Impostor Syndrome and The Believer

I began feeling it long before I knew what it was.

It was prize giving day in high school, and I’d made it to top 3 in my class. We had Math prodigees on the stag who had won inter-school and state championships. I’d never done anything like that, and in my silently growing panic, I wondered if they’d miscalculated my scores.

It was the feeling of not being sure I belonged. More specifically, the feeling of wondering if I was awarded by mistake.

Over the years, I’ve found this feeling to be quite common with a lot of people. I mean people worry that their school admitted them by mistake, or they won a scholarship by some stroke of luck or their boss overestimated their abilities, or their church thinks they’re a better Christian than they actually are, and sooner or later someone is going to figure it out. In a lot of cases, this feeling moves from worry to fear and then anxiety, timidity, self-sabotage, and outright quitting.

Other times, it creates a deep uncertainty about being loved or accepted by our friends, family, or even God. It births a need to do more, to be more, constantly measuring ourselves against standards that exist only in our heads.

“It was the feeling of not being sure I belonged. More specifically, the feeling of wondering if I was awarded by mistake.”

As you may be able to tell, impostor syndrome is quite powerful. It’s the reason a lot of people self- sabotage, or quit even before they begin. Sometimes, it looks like our insecurities or our limitations. Shaming us with lies of not being good enough and fear that everything could crumble if anyone were to probe deeply.

For believers, it’s one reason many of us don’t step into our calling because we feel like a fraud. An extra layer for the believer is the weight of guilt from sin, mistakes, and choices from our pasts. Some of us have chapters in our life stories that stand in stark contrast to where we now are and what God is calling us to do. Impostor syndrome plays on these experiences and slowly and silently kills the believer’s call.

“An extra layer for the believer is the weight of guilt from sin, mistakes, and choices from our pasts. Some of us have chapters in our life stories that stand in stark contrast to where we now are and what God is calling us to do”.

If this is you, I’d like to let you know that impostor syndrome is built on lies. That’s the key reason we have to resist it. Its aim is to paint a picture of unworthiness and make us believe that we do not deserve what we have because of something we have or don’t have or who we are or are not. The truth is that Jesus has made us joint heirs with Him, entitled to every good and perfect gift. It was never about us – He did it long before we ever came to know Him and become saved. He loved us in advance and with plenty more to spare!

The idea that “I’ve got to prove myself in order to get myself loved” is in total variance with the gospel of redemption. By grace alone, through faith alone, on the basis of the work of Christ alone, we stand on the glorious rock of the forgiveness of our sins, our acceptance with God, the removal of our guilt, the canceling of our debts — all of it rooted in the love of God, who chose us for himself before the foundation of the world.

“The truth is that Jesus has made us joint heirs with Him, entitled to every good and perfect gift. It was never about us – He did it long before we ever came to know Him and become saved”.

In Luke 5, Jesus reveals himself to a fisherman called Peter who had toiled all night but caught nothing. Suddenly, this man makes an appearance, and his nets are overflowing with fish. Peter, realising who Jesus was and what He’d just done for him gave the a classic impostor Syndrome response – ‘Please leave me, I’m a lowly sinner, not worthy to be in your presence’. Peter felt unworthy and inadequate. He wanted to hide.

Jesus’ response is significant. He does not coddle Peter or skirt around his fears, He shifts Peter’s focus to a higher calling – ‘Don’t be afraid, from now on you’ll be fishing for people’.

Jesus ripped at the self-depriciating nature of Peter’s response. He knew that apart from feeling bad about himself, his feelings would distract him from what God had called him to do.

Impostor syndorme disables you through fear and feelings of inadequacy. It’s like having weights shackled to your ankles, keeping you from running full speed. The devil knows that as long as he can do this – keep your eyes on your inability instead of God’s ability. You’ll live a life of fearful restraint and miniscule goals.

But know that you have been engraced for every call of God over your life. Know that when God called you, He qualified you irrespective of your age, gender, experiences, background, mistakes, and any other variable.

As believers, there’s another layer of guilt and shame that comes from sin, but know that there is no pit so deep that His love is not deeper still. He loves you so much that he makes provisions for your shortcomings. Circling back to Peter who Jesus tells ‘I know you are going to deny me, but I have put something in place to help you out of that. And when you are helped, dont forget your call – help others too!

So what do we do when impostor syndrome begins to rear its ugly head? We do what 2 Corinthians 10:5 says.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

We declare that we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, and we are entitled to every good and perfect gift. Guilt and shame have no power over us.

And for the times when it wears the deceptive cloak of ‘luck’, remind yourself that there is no such thing as luck — period. There is no such thing as luck. What the world calls luck is God’s providence. So, what you’re dealing with is not several thousand professional instances of luck, in which you lucked out and proved competent and responsible and helpful by accident. That’s not what’s happening; there’s no such thing as an accident or luck. God, not luck, brought about those thousands of moments of competency and responsibility and helpfulness. This is a pattern of divine sustaining, divine support, divine help, divine guidance, which bears all the marks of a calling, a vocation from God.

“And for the times when it wears the deceptive cloak of ‘luck’, remind yourself that there is no such thing as luck — period. There is no such thing as luck. What the world calls luck is God’s providence. “

Therefore, when you wake up in the morning and you feel anxiety that your luck might run out today, one of the answers is to preach to yourself, “There’s no such thing as luck. Stop thinking that way. It doesn’t exist. God has sustained me in all these thousands of moments of competency that I’ve been calling ‘luck.’ God has sustained me even if I am truly incompetent.”

When impostor syndrome takes hold of you, you take hold of it. Speak God’s word and refuse its lies and deception.

You were made worthy when Christ died and shed His blood for you. You DO belong in that church, that job, that programme, and anywhere else on this planet God has called you. So don’t look at the people around you. Don’t look at your limitations. Don’t even  look at yourself. Just look at Jesus and move.